he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
