like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
