i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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