remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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