apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
