Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
