No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize