Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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