Do you still have your period?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
