so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
