I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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