I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
