i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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