i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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