i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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