Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
