Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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