trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
