glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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