she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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