it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize