I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
