I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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