Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
