He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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