3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Too much gin, very little bucket
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
