She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
