my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
me + whiskey = a bad person
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
