Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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