is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize