Are we in a gay sports bar?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize