TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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