Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
