Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
