Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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