my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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