So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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