i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
