You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
