Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize