Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
