So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
