I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
