she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Found the puke drawer
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
