Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
