we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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