Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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