belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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