So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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