First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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