At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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