Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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