Please, let me fuck your mom
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I looked at my own cervix.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize