I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
