I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
