My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize