if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
