he puts the penis in happiness.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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