yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
