whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
