What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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